Song for the Fifth Child

I haven't announced this on my blog yet, because if you read this blog you probably already know. I am having another baby girl in October. We are really excited, and a little nervous about adding another  sweet little person to our family.  We just returned from our summer family vacation to the Oregon Coast. We got a lot of looks, as people saw me, obviously pregnant, with four other little ones trailing behind. We also got a lot of comments. I've been kind of sheltered from that in Utah. People here generally have larger families than in other states. My neighbors have ten, another neighbor has five.

A few years ago we attended my grandfathers funeral, the year after that my grandmother passed away. At both of the funerals I was in awe at the legacy they left behind. 3 children who loved them deeply, 9 grandchildren who will miss them more than words. Not to mention the great- grandchildren that maybe did not know them as well, but who will grow up hearing stories of love and respect. I decided at their funeral that your children are the only important thing you leave behind when you die. Money doesn't matter.  A fancy home. A superstar career doesn't even compare to the love of your children. Your career won't miss you when your gone. Your home will go to the next buyer who will change it and erase all evidence that you ever lived there. Your money will go to someone else. Your children will remember you, cherish your memories, and pass on the life lessons you taught them. They will talk about you to their children. Your influence on them will be passed on to the next generation. They will visit your grave and await longingly for the day they can see you again in heaven.

I know that sounds kind of depressing to think about dying while I'm talking about adding another life to my family.  Anyhow, these thoughts and experiences had a large bearing on my mind. We couldn't quite be settled with the fact that our family was complete with 4 children, it just didn't feel right.

 I AM A MOTHER. That is what I am here to do. Chad IS A FATHER. It's the greatest joy to him. I love being a mother. As challenging, frustrating, exhausting as it is. It is also rewarding, fulfilling, fun and exciting. I am so excited and proud when my children learn a new skill, when they take another step towards Independence and self discovery. They make me laugh and they challenge my mind. I don't know half of the answers to all the crazy questions they throw at me. (Thank you google for helping me out!) I love how the big kids love and get so much joy out of the baby. They get to see the fun it is to watch someone learn and grow. I love how the baby watches the big kids' every move. How she follows them around and joins in their play. I love how they teach each other.

I don't like how I feel from media, strangers, and even people I know, that I am "crazy" or "don't you know how babies get here".   I won't judge you for the size of your family, you don't judge me. I have friends with 7 kids, 6 kids. Lots of  friends with 5 kids. 4 kids, 3 kids, 2 and 1. I know people who have kids with disabilities. Friends who almost lost their life trying to get the one miracle baby they have. Friends who desperately want kids and for some reason can't. I don't know the inner workings of their hearts, of their experiences that have led them to the decisions they have made. I just hope and pray that my friends will be happy and that God will bless them with the family that is just right for them.

When we were first married and starting our family, I had three miscarriages. They were devastating. I thought that maybe I would never have children. I worried that the dream I had planned on of being a mother would never be and I would have to start figuring out what I was supposed to do with my life instead. I was very worried. It was a very hard few years. Then Jacob came a long. To me he was a miracle. Each child after has been a miracle.With each child Chad and I have been blessed with the needed capacity to care for, love and nurture our growing family.

It makes me sad that the joy of this sweet, little, new life could be lost to criticism and dismay. That this baby may not be greeted with "Congratulations!! What a precious baby!" because she is a 5th child instead of the 1st. I love newborns. I love the joy, peace and love they bring to a home. Everyone is kinder, softer, sweeter when a newborn is around. As if everyone can feel the remnant of heaven a baby brings with her.

My Aunt gave my mother a cross stitched picture when my sister, the fifth child was born. It has a mother rocking a baby, and a poem that is titled, "a  Song for the Fifth Child". I have always remembered this little poem, and I have in my possession this actual cross stitch. (which will be re-framed and hung up soon.)
This is the poem as I remember it:

Cleaning and Scrubbing can wait for tomorrow
For babies grow up, we've learned, to our sorrow.
So settle down cobwebs,
dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby
and babies don't keep.

And here it is in it's entirety.

Song for a Fifth Child by Ruth Hulburt 

Hamilton (1921- )

Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.

http://www.lullaby-link.com/song-for-a-fifth-child.html

(Ruth is a native Missourian Like myself! )